Slavic Things

We’ve been away from Europe for over a year now.

We miss her. We think about her daily. She’s often on our lips.

With our recent move, there’s been a lot of explaining about the world we left behind. We get to talk contextual adaptations, cuisine, cross-cultural blunders, and language acquisition. It’s reminded us of some quirks – you know, those Slovak, Polish, Slavic things.

Things like how being cheated is actually your own fault. The cheater has no need for guilt because it is on you, the cheatee, for being so gullible. If you’re dumb enough to fall for it, they would be foolish to not capitalize on the moment. We even had police warn us that they would cheat us – and by the end of our visa drama, we believed them.

If you only answer a question once, you haven’t answered it. The same response is required multiple times. In different formats. Repeatedly. A lot.

This need for repetition extends to ending a conversation – especially phone calls. You will say goodbye only to have the person ask another question. Which you answer (in abundance) and then say a different form of goodbye. Repeat until both parties hang up or walk away.

Psych yourself up before a handshake. You’re not doing it right until you feel the other person trying to separate shoulder from socket and crush your hand bones. Only wince on the inside.

Bring exact change or be prepared for the wrath of the cashier. The smaller the store, the more exact the change should be. You’ve been warned.

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